At first impression, 'North Moon Herbals' might sound like a catchy new-age sort of name that maybe didn't involve a whole lot of thought.  We live DEEP over here so if you're interested, read on...and if not, just know there's a lot more to it than just the surface.

 This is long and I'm not sorry.

Let's break it down:

NORTH - I think of the direction North as a direction of alignment and intention.  We look for the North Star when we are lost or need a little extra guidance.  For me, "going North" meant going to some place magical and fun, yet mysterious and sometimes laborious.  It also often meant mountains!  The only thing I'd miss if I lived on a mountain would be the beach!  Climbing a mountain is hard but SO worth the view.  Skiing the steep face of a mountain at top speeds is one of my most favorite and exhilarating adventures.  North is where I go to LIVE.  North is where I go when I need GUIDANCE & LOVE.

MOON - Where do I begin?  I've always been enamored by the moon. Once, I even hand-painted it on my wall complete with pastel shooting stars on my bedroom ceiling. (My parents were the coolest!  I perhaps was not...I was just about to enter high school when I did it.) There's nothing like the bright shine of a full moon casting near-daylight shadows in the night.  How impressive is it that the moon drives things like tides and migration patterns in certain species, having divine feminine power to cyclically influence cycles, seasons and patterns? 

In the very early Spring of 2017, my family and I ventured out for a walk on an unfamiliar path in a very familiar place.  I had been struggling mentally, though I'm not sure anyone knew it.  I was mostly circling around in feelings that made me feel stuck.  I felt stagnant in the present, uncertain about the future and overwhelmed by the monotonous feeling of being in a hamster wheel...constantly working, hardly sleeping (due to my 2-year-old little night owl who never slept for more than 4 hours at a stretch)...feeling like there had to be more to life than the repetitious daily grind.  On the surface, I had everything...a beautiful family, a great job, and in the grand scheme of things, not many struggles.  Underneath, something was missing but I didn't know what exactly that something was.

The walk started out on a path through the woods. Two German Shepherds greeted us with their owner at the gate. I remember it vividly, thanks to both memory and journaling.  In fact, it was my first 'dear diary' moment since probably middle school(please tell me you also had a journal with a lock on it!).  I meditated that morning and asked for a sign.  I wanted to know what it was that would bring me out of this feeling of stuck-ness and into feelings of joy and gratitude.  After all, I had so much to be thankful for then, just as I do now, and will continue to have in the future.  

Several blue jays made lots of noise in the trees above, drawing my attention to a red cardinal that flew over the path, toward our destination at the ocean's edge.  The kids were excited to be exploring a new trail, it was rather cold but we were bundled up with winter accessories knowing the wind would be fierce off the water.  Before long, the kids came to a whimsical fairy garden which someone nearby had clearly been cultivating for quite some time.  We stopped to admire it, fixed a few of the things that were knocked over, mended a broken fairy swing and kept on our way.  Buckets in hand, we headed to where the waves hit the sand.  A recent storm had brought so many interesting treasures within our reach.

I took long, deep breaths and sighed sighs of sweet relief while I watched my children stoop to pick up shells and rocks by the shore.  There's something about the sea that just HEALS.  It really is like magic. It makes you feel instantly better, regardless of what it is that's ailing you.  The undulating crashing of waves, the shimmering shine of the sun bouncing off the ever-moving water, the screech of the gulls softened by the wind, the moisture in the air breathing fullness into your lungs, the taste of salty air.  

The tide was low and the sun was high.  I couldn't help but be reminded of my childhood, where every season was spent at the beach.  Building 'drizzle castles' on the sandbars at low tide in the heat of summer rated just as high in my book as navigating the 'icebergs' on the water's edge in the winter. They were in fact, boulder-sized chunks of frozen seawater that appear after a big snowstorm when the tide rolls out, all the snow that's been carried to land by the waves...and while I assure you they were completely safe (only about 10 inches in height at their tallest), using a stick to poke them to 'test' for safety was half the fun, running along them like a getty in the summer was the rest of it! 

Back to 2017...on that beach walk, I came to a pivotal realization about what it was that I was missing.

The treasures found that day were plentiful and magical.  So many oyster and quahog shells, several pristine conchs of varying sizes, a few pieces of pottery, the clear/green/amber trifecta of beach-glass sprinkled with a few tiny blue pieces, but MOST PRIZED of all (dating back to my childhood days) were the elusive 'eyeball shells'.  You don't find those everyday.  We used to scour our stretch of beach for miles, if not every other day, at least every week.  Whoever found the eyeball shell on any given walk was the Victor of the Match, the one each of us hoped to be, envious of the bucket which contained that perfect spiral.  This time, every several yards I seemed to find one.  They weren't all in perfect condition, some of them showing their twisty insides...but ALL of them were beautiful. 

I found 31 of them.  THIRTY ONE!!  One for each year I had been on Earth.

I had spent my whole life calling them 'eyeball shells'.  I thought there had to be a real name for them and a google search including our location provided a quick result.  The Northern Moon Snail was the mollusk that had won over my heart.  

Walking on that beach that day made me come to many realizations that day...and continues to provide connections to this day.  Which brings me to what I was missing all along.  CONNECTION.

I truly feel like that was the day I realized Divine Guidance is real, putting a few signs right in front of my footsteps when I need them most.  I realized that sometimes I am my own worst enemy, the only person holding me back was me.  I realized putting myself in a hamster wheel was a choice.  I realized I was suffering from victim mentality.  I realized I was comparing myself to unrealistic standards, ones I only chose because society told me I am supposed to want them.  We only have one life on this planet and I'll be darned if I'm going to live it unhappy.  I also intend on being here for as long as possible, in the best way possible.  So health and family need to come first.  I hope I can live up to my 97-year-old Memere's vitality in her golden years...dancing and smiling and laughing hysterically all the way...aging in the most graceful way possible.  I want to show my kids it's ok to live a bit unconventionally, that it's important to help as many people as you can, and live your life to the absolute fullest, feeling all the feels along the way.  Good, bad or indifferent.

Connecting with one's truest self and realizing your true desires remain to be of utmost importance in achieving SUCCESS in your life.